One of the reasons we relocated was related to culture. New Mexico is well known for a slow paced, relaxed lifestyle. This is appealing to two folks who have spent quite a bit of time in stressful work environments with deadlines and responsibilities and bills and never-enough-time.

Our mission here is to slow things down, to relax and enjoy the outdoors, the indoors and everything this little city has to offer. With that mission comes some challenges. We prepared ahead to reprogram our brain when it comes to any sort of customer service. There will be lines at retail stores, cashiers who aren’t concerned with any particular schedule. Meals out will require additional time in the schedule as most restaurant employees adhere to the New Mexico matra: “we’ll get to you when we get to you.” This is all expected.

Because we’re not a big fan of commitment (any type) we decided to rent in Albuquerque for a year. This involves interacting with a property management company, which we have discovered at this property is one person who occasionally recruits family members for odd jobs. Response times are even more lackluster than the restaurants around town. If there is a response, it could be weeks after we’ve already fixed the issue.

We’ve had adventures around the house, which we’ll document below. We’ve also enjoyed encountering random obscurities around town that make us laugh, not necessarily related to poor customer service or wait times. Just random, goofy things which we will also document below.

First, the keys.

There was one lone key hanging on the hook when we arrived at our new place. “It’s for the back door. Or maybe the front. Or both,” were the instructions. Turns out, this key fit none of those.

But it needed a label.

Fortunately, we did have a garage door opener which works 85% of the time. We realized quickly that’s about the operational percentage of most things here.

The keys were the first of many odd things we would encounter in our new residence. Another inside-the-home item: the light bulb issue.

Who fills in a light fixture with four completely different types of light bulbs? Even better, who designed the placement of the bulbs stuck inside the ceiling inaccessible to humans without 15 foot legs?

We got to work quickly, replacing the bulbs we could reach and averting our eyes to the scattered arachnid eyes on the ceiling above.

There were outside-the-home items which were odd/interesting/amusing as well.

On our first (well, maybe second or seventh) trip to Sawmill Market:

Roti Chicken with a neon sign explaining (without words) exactly where those eggs come from. And Flora: the taco joint, with their Fountian Soda. Founchan? Or Foun-ty-an? We didn’t stop to find out.

In the downtown area, we found an incredible local coffee shop called Curious Toast. Tucked into a four story building, they offer a variety of caffeinated drinks along with delicious breakfast food. There’s four stories inside of Curious Toast: some designated for hungry customers. some for office space which appeared to be occupied by local artists.

They design stuff like this:

Upon closer investigation, this fancy centerpiece turned out to be a minion made entirely of thumbtacks. Approach with caution.

We pass this sign frequently when walking to Old Town. It occupies space in the parking lot of Camino 66, a deceptively large store filled with every little Southwestern / Mexican trinket one’s heart desires. If your heart desires such things (we actually purchased a blanket there so evidently ours did).

Whether it’s a good day, or a worse day, we always enjoy the sign.

In the open space along the Rio Grande River, there’s a spot which has an area set aside for sculptures. 

The squirrel seemed friendly enough but maybe a little out of proportion. That is a very large tail. And he’s having serious coherence issues – his tail appears to be eager to depart.

The eagle?

Maybe just a little sad… or bored.

One afternoon, we were looking for a table, or some shelves. We weren’t really sure. We just wanted something Southwestern-y which would provide a little bit of storage. Our efforts to minimize the things we own had resulted in throwing away quite a few things that might store the things we still own and want to keep.

We didn’t think the 3-D horse body would be useful in this cause, but he seemed to be screaming “pay attention to me!”

A Chicago Bulls cow skull was something we were not expecting to see while searching for storage.

But there it was.

We offered to purchase this for certain family members with attachments to the Windy City. Their response was … “No.”

Here’s a creative way to lock your vehicle when all else fails.

Another house related ABQ item that falls under the Absurdity category:

THE TRASH SAGA: After requesting information on trash pickup several times, we received the following: Thursdays between 9 and 10 AM. Now this is incredible, we thought. The waste management must be really on top of things to accommodate our entire area’s trash in one hour. We dutifully placed our bins on the curb Thursday morning. Our driveway is shared with three other residents located off a narrow residential road, so arranging the bins is a challenge. Navigating in/out of the driveway on trash days is quite the obstacle course. Thank goodness for rear cameras. Thursday afternoon: all trash and recycling bins were full and still obscuring driver’s view of the narrow corner. We continued to dodge bins, trying to avoid a trash disaster. Friday morning: all bins were still full. The neighbors greeted us as usual. No one seemed concerned about the lack of pickup activity going on. Friday afternoon: we walked to lunch, hoping we’d find empty bins at the end of the walk. No such luck. Returned from lunch to the same scene. Finally, as we were replacing light bulbs or working on other tasks that are not usually the renter’s responsibility, we heard a loud “bang”! Peering out the window, we saw the familiar box truck doing it’s thing. Our lonely trash was finally dumped into the community bucket with our neighbors, home at last. Late Friday night, we were able to return the trash and recycling bins to their home in the garage. The driveway, while still a bit of a logistical challenge, improved that night. But we knew next week, the driveway on Thursday would return to obstacle course status for an undetermined amount of time. Update: the trash is picked properly about 85% of the time. The other fifteen percent? They might skip our bins while all the others on the street are emptied. Or sometimes they’ll show up the day after. Or the day after that. It’s whatever.

Whether better or especially worse, or especially “at your worse” or something like that…. everything is an adventure here.

Speaking of “at your worse” we wondered how the consumer of these alcoholic beverages had disappeared to after it seemed he/she enjoyed a fun little solo party in an industrial area of town.

Parking here can be a bit confusing. Inside, outside, in between, just park where you want.

Meal pickup instructions are confusing as well. Sawmill Market is one of our favorite eateries here, providing a variety of food and drinks in one setting. We do what we’re told. When the big red button flash and vibrate, we take the meal.

While we follow instructions to retrieve food perfectly, we try no to adhere to the street signs that indicate we should go one way: up.